Existence, experiences, and excuses

May it rest in peace.

Remember the day of the dead.

I know that I’m short. I have always been short. I am short. I will continue to be short. I recognize this. I am well aware of it. I have accepted it. In some ways I work it to my advantage or just plain work it.

So, for all you idiots out there, you really don’t have to go to the trouble to point out, inform me, or remind me of the fact that I’m short. It’s especially bothersome when it’s the first time I’m meeting you. It’s like meeting an amputee and being like, “OH HEY YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LEG!” It’s really just such an ignorant thing to say. We’re all pretty self aware, especially in a physical sense.

Least of all do I need some sort of stupid, trite justification for my height. The last thing I want to hear is something dumb like, “You’re not short; you’re fun-sized.” Am I a candy bar now? It’s really one of the most annoying things you can say. You want justification? It’s called genetics and environment. I was never destined to be tall. I’m ok with that. I’m aware of it. You really don’t need to shove it down my throat or make up some dumb sort of consolation. I don’t need to be consoled! It’s not that big of a deal.

That’s what gets me: when people make such a big deal out of something that shouldn’t be an issue. I guess I’m making a pretty big deal of it, myself right now, but that’s just because I’m so sick of the general insensitivity quotient out there. It’s just one of those “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” situations. People should just think before they speak. Some people just have no tact.

This really isn’t working for me. The weather is absolutely gorgeous out and you’re asking me to study, go to classes, and take exams? Also the food that you make me really does not sit well with me and is killing me. I also don’t want to live with you anymore. I mean when it’s good, it’s good, but sadly lately the bad times have been outweighing any good.

I really think we need to end this or maybe take a break. So pretty soon I’m going to move out and just chill for a couple of months. Maybe we can work things out in the future. I really hope so.

Don’t think all this means that I don’t still love you, because I do. You’ve been really good to me, but I really just can’t handle all of this right now. I’m really sorry.

I know we’ll find a way to work things out.

With Love,
Justin

Today Ke$ha was performing a free set at the University of Pittsburgh. That’s really pretty irrelevant information, seeing as I didn’t go see her. I was busy doing other things.(*gasp*

What you might ask? Well let’s just say this weekend I did her proud.

This weekend was my initiation to Alpha Chi Sigma. We left Saturday morning for a cabin in the middle of nowhere, PA. I’m still pretty unsure as to the actual location. I know it was about an hour from State College, it was in the mountains, and civilization seemed like a distant memory. All in all we were just over 4 hours away from Pittsburgh.

So we spend the whole day doing different sort of tasks, exercises, and bonding type experiences with our fellow pledges. We get to know the brothers better, too, through all the things they put us through. It wasn’t hazing by any means. It was more about making a fool of yourself in a way and laughing your ass off the whole time. We had to do things like a fake civil war reenactment, trivia contests, and a dance routine competition. My team won the dance competition with a pretty spectacular routine that we created for our designated song, which was “We R Who We R.” Having the pledge name of Ke$ha definitely had its perks.

There were more serious parts of the day, too, though. We had to take an exam to make sure we actually knew things about the fraternity and weren’t just a bunch of idiots. We had to go through a couple of rituals, too that were really meaningful and made it all the more clear that the bonds and purpose of the fraternity goes so much further beyond parties and get-togethers. It was really enlightening. I have a lot of pride in the group and my fellow members.

And then after all the business was taken care of, and we all became official brothers, the party truly started. Our bigs got us gifts. I got some pretty awesome stuff, including a little bottle of Absolut, a Ke$ha/AXE inspired martini glass, an AXE cardigan, candy, and even more. The alcohol was most definitely plentiful and free-flowing, and by the end of the night I literally had brushed my teeth with a bottle of Jack. Fortunately, though, I did not awake this morning feeling like P Diddy. 

I cannot even begin to express everything that went on this weekend. It was all extremely fun, hilarious, meaningful, deep, and so many more things. I know it’s something I will never forget in my lifetime. I’m all the more happy now that I decided to join this group. It has been such a fantastic experience, I have become so much closer to so many more people, I have laughed til I could hardly breathe on so many occasions. All in all it was just a phenomenal weekend, and I just wanted to share a little bit of it with you all.